The month of love
February is the month of love, it emphasises the importance of love in our lives. You might see people sure to participate in panic-purchasing heart-adorned cards, red roses and teddy bears emblazoned with the cutest of messages. Valentine’s Day, February 14th, is the second-largest card-giving day of the year, right after Christmas.
Love is critical for our minds and body, perhaps like oxygen. The more you are connected, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally.
I once read that whatever you crave from someone you love, you should give that to them. This could be attention, an act of service or words of affirmation.
Love is different from limerance. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels really good but rarely lasts. It could last for an average of six months. However, it can progress to love, love mostly starts out as infatuation, but infatuation does not always grow or evolve into love.
Love is an act of will. It is a learned skill. It is, therefore, important to learn the skills of love because if you fail to learn these skills, you virtually guarantee that you may get depressed; not only because you will not be connected enough but also, you will have many failure experiences.
Love requires you to learn good communication skills. These skills help to develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate, the less you will assume things and the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and depressed. Communication also generally frees you and keeps your mind at ease. Learning to communicate respectfully will help to represent yourself well and find a common ground to work on.
Focusing on someone you love and their needs will help to see how that need helps their well-being. With enough self-care towards yourself, you will manage to not lose yourself in the process. When you focus on others and learn to meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love. Of course, ensure your needs are being met and communicate them too.
Love, in as much as it is mostly referred to as a noun, is also a verb. It entails carrying out actions of love and showing them. Whether to your children, parents, business partner, friends or your significant other, love is an active experience, not a passive one.
You can use love to impart value. It is an investment that you get to pour into another person.
A read by Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, helps break down the five love languages that exist and how we can see what the other person might crave more. These love languages are different for everyone and understanding them and knowing yours helps explain what is most important to meet your needs.
Getting to learn these love languages will also help someone see that they are valued, a lot. We are careful with things we value; we never want to either lose or to break them.